The past, present, future

Kinda tired now, so this shall be a short (hopefully) post with a few topics in mind. Had these topics in my head for the past few days - starting from the most recent.

Yea, life is fragile, treasure the loved ones around you before they are gone; how long we live in this world is kinda destined, fated - that's what I've alwsys believed, when its time for you to go, you go. No questions asked, no second chance given. Have heard many near deaths incidents of those around me, and literally 'near-death' means that they actually survived to tell the tale, and of course we have (just) heard unpredictable/unnatural deaths, where at the snap of your finger - gone.

Nothing to do with any of the news or whatsoever, II just had the thought earlier that I only live once and I might wanna do some extreme activities which I thought I'd never do like learning to ride a motorcycle. I wanna do many things that I thought I'd never do. At least I want to attempt. Though it may seem selfish that I want to be daring, I want to bold, I want to experience, I want to risk, without considering the amount of stress/worry that I may burden my parents after 2 decades of bringing me up. Maybe a simple solution would be: Don't let them know =p See how, haven't really give much thought about it.

Think this may link to the previous topics like meeting new people, making friends, etc. As an platoon commander now, I need to interact with my men. I've learnt that I am so much better at connecting to one person at a personal level, to influence my leadership on them than to establishing a command presence to a group of them and not knowing a shit thing about each one of them. Guess that's why I've my counterpart to compliment our working styles. Hope the best for my platoon/company despite all the upcoming challenges and I've never felt so purposeful about NS before. Alright, I shan't talk about it to bore my readers, my point is there.

I may take up SAT lessons on weekends so I can open up my choices in the US. Be it as a backup plan or an action to prove that I'm not taking the easy way out, I honestly don't know, because as of now, as you might have guessed, I'm still thinking about it (you know it, procrastinating is what I meant actually).

I've lost track on my monetary spending for the past months. This is bad. With the increase in allowance, comes the increase in the expenditure. I really have to control my finance well. I'm also making plans to do investments, before all my hard-earned savings get further eroded by inflation.

My fitness is something that I'm gonna work on also. Man I do have incoherent chain of thoughts. This post isn't that short as I said earlier.

It feels good making plans. It has been a while since I last make plans. Next step: actions to execute these plans. It's gonna be tough. If life is that easy, it isn't life at all. And I only live once.

I think I might have missed out some topics, but heck it happens and I'm tired. That's all folks.

Wrong

It's just wrong.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Thinking Rationally

Haven been quite thinking rationally these days. End up, quite chaotic. Almost lost my mind; it helps thinking too much than not to think at all.

Primary School Friends

Know them for like a decade or more? It's interesting to see we all leading all sorts of different lives and still able to meet up, talking like as though we were back then. We've literally seen each other grow, though for a few it's quite sad to say they haven't grown much. Perhaps we already knew each for that long, we're more open and frank to topics that we never thought we'll ever discussed or even share our own experiences. There isn't much judgemental opinions or looks. Maybe there isn't any fear that whatever we shared would spread as there isn't many of us left to spread to.

Memory Lost

Not sure why I can't seem to remember many of the recent stuffs. Or things I said. Or people I've talked to. Wondering what's not holding these memories. I've got a hunch that I might not even remember some of the even older days that I don't even know I've forgotten.

Making Friends

I don't know if I've touched on this before (like I mentioned above, poor memory), as we move on with life and meet new people,I kinda find it hard to make new friends. It has becoming more of a colleague/work relationship rather than friends. You just can't get to close to these people, and you just know you wouldn't want to. No idea why I used "You" instead of "I", perhaps I'm assuming this is applicable to most people? I don't know their background, what they have done, how they have changed, anything about their past. Maybe that's why I like to dig out the traces of individual's pasts aka CSI-ing through verbal interrogations(I ask a lot) and even facebook profiles.

I asked myself, is the past THAT important? It is no doubt that it is the pasts that defines you and I just want to know you. If I don't know anything about you, I would say, I wouldn't even dare to get near you - more than happy to keep a colleague/acquaintance relationship. No one knows what you are gonna be like in the future but I know I can make the difference now.

Maybe I've existing friends in my life. Great ones, amazing ones. I don't have to make more friends, do I? I'm kinda sick of the "come and go", "greetings and partings". Why bother? It's already life challenging to maintain the good old friendships forged in schools. At this time of writing, I'm still single. I'm amazed to know there are many who can do without friends and live with just their girlfriends. Totally, I don't think I'm gonna be like that.

Comfort zone

I finally made the first step leaving my comfort zone by making the application to Imperial College London. It's a long tedious application process with many information to be filled up and I'm only half way there and gonna continue the remaining over the weekends. At least I've made the first step after procrastinating for more than a year!

Life so far

Time

Time really speeds up after u reach your 20s.

Though technically time doesn't speed up nor slow down, it is just the "apparent relativity". (E.g 2 hour of our book out time seems like 2 minutes, and 2 minutes in camp seems like 2 hours)

It is because there are many many things going on in our lives now -- generally more work, more responsibilities, more decision making, meeting more people, lots of other stuffs.

Very soon, half of 2009 is gone. 2009 so far for me mainly revolves my cadet training. Lost for words now, really don't know what to describe in the past 5 months. Other than the highlight in Taiwan with tough training and fun RnR. In 13 days time, I'll be commissioned as an Officer - the start of another chapter.

Bazang

Had homemade bazangs (Dumplings) for meals past 2 days. Wondering if my future wife is able to pick up the skill from my mom and continue to the tradition to make such love-filled bazangs for many many years to come. Ok, my mom actually wants ME to learn, after she said things like in the future when she's not around...etc.. I chose to push the responsibility to my future wife instead =x. She laughed saying these days our generation no one would do such things anymore. =(

Weather

Hot weather somehow makes most people crankier. Myself included. Just when I thought I like it hot.

My blog

As my blog grows with my since 2006, some things change, some things don't.

I don't think I am able to express my thoughts and views as descriptive as compared to a few years ago. Feel a lot more intellectual reading the entries from the start. I kinda missed those types of entries with beautiful quotes. Can I easily blame army for the retarding me? Nah I shouldn't.

I slowly included my thoughts on family in my blog. Family has becoming more and more important as life goes on. Met people with different backgrounds, learnt their stories, treasure and appreciate what you have before they are gone.

I don't care as much as what others might think after reading my blog - there isn't many readers left anyway. Also I guess not many knew about this little secluded corner in my cyber life where I pour out my heart out.

I still don't write about daily events of my life. Only significant ones that I don't really describe them explicitly; these entries just serve as reminders of milestones in life when I re-read them.

I still don't mention names in my blog. Initially I didn't want others to think why I mention some names but not the others. Now it has become a habit that I don't include names at all for no other reasons.

Homosexuality

Why are there gays and lesbians around? What actually goes through their minds? Do they feel normal? Are they born like that? Will the society ever accept them? [Millions of questions to come...]

Time to be productive - NOT

Haven been much productive these days months.

WAKE UP WAKE UP

Meanwhile, (see this is what I meant)...
Came across this US site selling 16GB Cruzer at 39.99USD. TEMPETED TEMPTED!! Seems worth it though I don't know how much a thumby costs these days here in SG.

Also... (can't help it, really.. =x)
Take a look at my system tray now! -->

First from top left, 

1. Videora Convertor for my iPod Touch videos conversions. An episode of Bleach takes about 15min; Grey's would take maybe about half hour and a full length movie maybe 1++ hour.
   
2. Rainlender for sync with my Google Calendar and displaying it on my Desktop. Quite an uneventful month so no screenie here.
3. Taskbar Shuffle. As name suggests, you can drag the programs in your taskbar to re-order it. 
4. My Hotmail unread mail count provided by Digsby. A single click on it would bring up a preview of the inbox. (Note to self: A "censored" [cloaking email addresses, etc] screenshot of this would paint a better picture.)
5. Vista's "Network" Icon. Nothing special. Though Windows 7's icon brings more functionality-Point 7. (Tempted to download Windows 7 RC, but that would mean I'd be at the point of no return)
6. Gmail unread mail count, likewise provided by Digsby. Similar feature as point 4.
7. Facebook provided by Digsby, also. Single click preview of latest new feeds updates and notifications, and also updating of status message without having to lauching the web browser. (Note to self: another screenshot should be good here.) Almost forgot to mention I do my facebook chats here.
8. Twitter provided by again you-know-what Digsby. You get the drift, if you're not lost and still reading. (Thanks)
9. Digsby itself. Amazing program that consolidates web mails, social networking and IM into system tray icons for convienient updates and tasks. Superb for an social-network-addict-cum-geek like me. Try it for yourself!
10. Windows Live Messenger. Need me to explain?
11. Volume control. Yada-yada.
12. Safely remove hardware. Didn't know I've something attached to it.
13. avast! is the FREE anti-virus I've been using. I like it as it uses little resource even though it's self-updating and real-time scanning. (Read: Not lagging the system)
14. WinRoll. Another AMAZING tiny app that do wonders to all your opened windows. You can set any window to be transulcent (See my current default browser, Chrome) or roll it up to save space. (See Windows Live Messenger). With proper arrangement of such semi-transparent windows and rolled-up windows, I can watch video in the background while chatting on MSN at the very same time making full use of the real estates of the screen! (No screenshot to demo)
    

Ok, end of showcasing. Someone please help me back on track to be productive on my (unstarted) reports. =(

All in a day

• A walk alone in West Mall after book out is not that bad after all.
  
• Family is doing good. Haven't feel so light-hearted about it in a long while. Smiles. =)
• Many "wrongs" doesn't really mke it "right". It just makes it a "norm" to one but not all...or until something real bad happens.
• Maybe at any point of time I must have some sort of problem/difficulty to keep my occupied. =/
• Hate reports. NS-related reports especially. The insane deadline just adds on to the shit. /irritated.
• 8th May seemed very familiar to me earlier in the day. Only came to realised towards the end of the day that it's my ORD date, exactly 365 days from now! (See if I can find a Blogger-made countdown widget to add here =p ) SERIOUSLY, I CAN'T WAIT.
• Came across this FF wallpaper. Yep, it is currently my wallpaper now.

A trip to remember

Just a note to self.
Did the impossible and unexpected.
Where am I heading to?