Thinking Rationally

Haven been quite thinking rationally these days. End up, quite chaotic. Almost lost my mind; it helps thinking too much than not to think at all.

Primary School Friends

Know them for like a decade or more? It's interesting to see we all leading all sorts of different lives and still able to meet up, talking like as though we were back then. We've literally seen each other grow, though for a few it's quite sad to say they haven't grown much. Perhaps we already knew each for that long, we're more open and frank to topics that we never thought we'll ever discussed or even share our own experiences. There isn't much judgemental opinions or looks. Maybe there isn't any fear that whatever we shared would spread as there isn't many of us left to spread to.

Memory Lost

Not sure why I can't seem to remember many of the recent stuffs. Or things I said. Or people I've talked to. Wondering what's not holding these memories. I've got a hunch that I might not even remember some of the even older days that I don't even know I've forgotten.

Making Friends

I don't know if I've touched on this before (like I mentioned above, poor memory), as we move on with life and meet new people,I kinda find it hard to make new friends. It has becoming more of a colleague/work relationship rather than friends. You just can't get to close to these people, and you just know you wouldn't want to. No idea why I used "You" instead of "I", perhaps I'm assuming this is applicable to most people? I don't know their background, what they have done, how they have changed, anything about their past. Maybe that's why I like to dig out the traces of individual's pasts aka CSI-ing through verbal interrogations(I ask a lot) and even facebook profiles.

I asked myself, is the past THAT important? It is no doubt that it is the pasts that defines you and I just want to know you. If I don't know anything about you, I would say, I wouldn't even dare to get near you - more than happy to keep a colleague/acquaintance relationship. No one knows what you are gonna be like in the future but I know I can make the difference now.

Maybe I've existing friends in my life. Great ones, amazing ones. I don't have to make more friends, do I? I'm kinda sick of the "come and go", "greetings and partings". Why bother? It's already life challenging to maintain the good old friendships forged in schools. At this time of writing, I'm still single. I'm amazed to know there are many who can do without friends and live with just their girlfriends. Totally, I don't think I'm gonna be like that.

Comfort zone

I finally made the first step leaving my comfort zone by making the application to Imperial College London. It's a long tedious application process with many information to be filled up and I'm only half way there and gonna continue the remaining over the weekends. At least I've made the first step after procrastinating for more than a year!