Lazy

It's the feeling lazy time of the month. Right, I've made that up. Don't know why, could be sleeping for more than 12 hours for the past 2 days - I just feel lethargic.

I'm an one-year soldier already. It's amazing what this one year has done to me. Seriously, I've never dreamt that I would go through so much pain, joy and laughter. And Love? Maybe all in the wrong place, wrong time. I realised I don't know how handle my emotions well too - as logical person as I might be. Life SHOULD be relatively easier now, 2 weeks into my new unit life, I'm kinda enjoying it. Shit haven't come in yet but it will come soon, very soon. Ok, maybe not shit, just more WORK.

I seriously have very bad memories. I just don't remember the recent things, things that I've said, people that I've spoken to, topics that I've discussed about. Now all these seem kinda familiar, I might have mentioned this is one of the previous posts. This is bad. I don't know what can I do about it. Maybe I shall eat more brain food - right, random.

Realised people have been blogging less. Looks like we all have our own life, especially so for those guys who are attached to their deary girlfriends who spoils them - they no longer blog and I don't know what's going on with their life. No activities on facebook too. I just hope they are not those got girlfriend no more friends type. Which leads me thinking, am I gonna be like that too? =/ Now I don't dare to promise much.

After being involved "inactively" in the NDP 09, I now look at this nationwide event from a new perspective. First, why "inactively" - by the time I'm involved, most of the comms stuff were up and there isn't any active role for me despite me begging for one. So I made use of the time/freedom around the marina platform, walking around, finding familiar faces, have a chat, going up to the so-call high-security-access levels like the control/comms rooms, seeing how the busy people work by the seconds, going down one corner to see how our logistics personnel working silently from providing food and water to clearing rubbish and setting up toilet points, and also see how our 3 star general along with Deputy PM/Minister of Defence got drenched in the rain together with all the Primary 5 kids and performers from all walks of life -all contributing to the making of this year's NDP in every possible sense. Their actions, be it big or small, be it at the behind-the-scenes or infront of audience, speaks a lot more. Imagine what could happen otherwise. I can choose to walk away, give reasons for not wasting my time there. Others too, they can just not participate in it, they can just run for shelter when the rain comes. But no one walked away when we actually have a choice to opt for a easier life.

I've learnt that we are all not noble to say we are here to defend our country, our home, for our independence, yada yada. These are just the macro picture that sometimes we don't give an f about. It's the little things - the people that have always been around us that we sometimes neglect, that we don't want to lose them, we want to protect them. People like your friends and family. It always starts from the basic unit - then it builds up to the big picture, our identity.

[To be continued...]

The past, present, future

Kinda tired now, so this shall be a short (hopefully) post with a few topics in mind. Had these topics in my head for the past few days - starting from the most recent.

Yea, life is fragile, treasure the loved ones around you before they are gone; how long we live in this world is kinda destined, fated - that's what I've alwsys believed, when its time for you to go, you go. No questions asked, no second chance given. Have heard many near deaths incidents of those around me, and literally 'near-death' means that they actually survived to tell the tale, and of course we have (just) heard unpredictable/unnatural deaths, where at the snap of your finger - gone.

Nothing to do with any of the news or whatsoever, II just had the thought earlier that I only live once and I might wanna do some extreme activities which I thought I'd never do like learning to ride a motorcycle. I wanna do many things that I thought I'd never do. At least I want to attempt. Though it may seem selfish that I want to be daring, I want to bold, I want to experience, I want to risk, without considering the amount of stress/worry that I may burden my parents after 2 decades of bringing me up. Maybe a simple solution would be: Don't let them know =p See how, haven't really give much thought about it.

Think this may link to the previous topics like meeting new people, making friends, etc. As an platoon commander now, I need to interact with my men. I've learnt that I am so much better at connecting to one person at a personal level, to influence my leadership on them than to establishing a command presence to a group of them and not knowing a shit thing about each one of them. Guess that's why I've my counterpart to compliment our working styles. Hope the best for my platoon/company despite all the upcoming challenges and I've never felt so purposeful about NS before. Alright, I shan't talk about it to bore my readers, my point is there.

I may take up SAT lessons on weekends so I can open up my choices in the US. Be it as a backup plan or an action to prove that I'm not taking the easy way out, I honestly don't know, because as of now, as you might have guessed, I'm still thinking about it (you know it, procrastinating is what I meant actually).

I've lost track on my monetary spending for the past months. This is bad. With the increase in allowance, comes the increase in the expenditure. I really have to control my finance well. I'm also making plans to do investments, before all my hard-earned savings get further eroded by inflation.

My fitness is something that I'm gonna work on also. Man I do have incoherent chain of thoughts. This post isn't that short as I said earlier.

It feels good making plans. It has been a while since I last make plans. Next step: actions to execute these plans. It's gonna be tough. If life is that easy, it isn't life at all. And I only live once.

I think I might have missed out some topics, but heck it happens and I'm tired. That's all folks.